Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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