your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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