Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
