...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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