doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
