Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
