Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
