They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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