oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
