I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just invented taco cereal.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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