super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
