girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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