did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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