Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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