You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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