Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
