I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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