Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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