8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
