Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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