So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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