Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
