i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
