I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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