Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
