What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
