Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
