Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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