thus making me awesome and them whores
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
