i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
