If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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