He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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