windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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