What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
