I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
you're hired as official boob wrangler
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
