she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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