mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i think i have two assholes
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
