I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
