Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
