Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize