Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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