I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
