google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
