T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
