just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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