i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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