Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
