that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
