there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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