Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
