Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
