I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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