I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
