it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How does it feel to date your dad?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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