guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
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Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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