white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
