He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
