eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize