i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
