If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
