There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
