i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
