I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
