Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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