Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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