party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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