Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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