i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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