Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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