Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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