Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I need mimosas to revive my soul
try to milk me bitch
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